​If this is love, why is it so hard?

Our culture has a myth of happily ever after. We think: "Once I find love, then I’ll be happy, settled, secure, have a sense of belonging," etc.
In actuality, finding the one and getting into relationship is not a point of arrival.

It’s a portal.
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It’s like a cauldron that stirs up our hardest emotions: shame, anger, fear, avoidance, judgement, you name it.
The person we love the most can look very scary at times.

Do any of these sound familiar? I feel like nothing I do is ever good enough. I’m being judged all the time I’m afraid you’ll leave me if I… ​You don’t hear/see/understand me I can’t tell if I matter to you Can I depend on you?

The stakes are high, our partner is the person who can hurt us the most. For this very reason, relationship has great potential to: heal core emotional wounds be a source of support and sanctuary ​offer an ally who has your owner’s manual to help you through challenges

I can help you become allies

In the hands of a trusted guide, who can shine light on what lies outside of your awareness, you can begin to unwind stuck patterns, find new pathways, and become allies in each other’s healing. ​We'll hold a vision for your relationship as a safe haven which fuels you both to face life’s challenges. As your relationship heals and as you let more love in, you'll see a ripple effect on your life.

Together we will:

• create safety in the room and at home
• discover your relationship patterns
• support both people to express their feelings and needs
• discover obstacles that might be unconscious
• create more positive ways of interacting
  

​Couples who work with me report:

• faster recovery from fights
• more connection during sex
• improved communication
• increased freedom from shame
• healthy individuation

I work with couples of all genders and orientations. I especially welcome non-binary or genderqueer identified folks, as well as kinky, polyamorous, and those in open relationships. ​

Contact Pamela for Free Consultation

Pamela helped save and deepen our relationship. She created a spacious, loving landscape for us. In our time of crisis, we had a calm, insightful presence guide us through murky waters which brought a sense of deeper listening for each other and guided us into an unimagined greater intimacy.” -RH&JK